I’ve been reading a book lately, okay that’s a lie. I fell for the Audible trap and have been listening to a few audio books lately mostly while driving in a car. The book in particular is Getting More.
Audible is great, especially if your family and girlfriend are a three to five hour drive away depending on Atlanta traffic and if there is a Knoxville/Florida game that weekend. My only beef with listening books instead of reading them is the time involved. Even the slowest readers can get through a book much faster than the artful narrations these Audio books are read as.
I mostly read technical books, so I will talk about it in terms of what I understand. I would call this book a cookbook for effectively communicating your desires to others. For those unaware, a cookbook is the opposite of a technical reference that exhaustively enumerates every facet of a topic. A cookbook tries to come up with an extensive list of problems you may encounter and provides solutions to those problems.
Take for instance a cookbook on kitchen disasters. It may go something like this.
Problem: You burned the cookies. They are dark brown but not black
Solution: Serve the cookies with milk and nobody will notice the difference.
The key part of books is organization. People will buy these books then refer to them over and over, so you want to make it easy for them to find what they are looking for. On this part, the author does an excellent job separating the topics into very descriptive categories, he understands pronouns and being vague are poisonous to Getting More. He has sections for work, getting hired, children, sales, and business situations.
I would also applaud his ability for effectively illustrating techniques for Getting More. The entire book could be shortened to this.
- Don’t assume, listen
- Be incremental
- Role reversal
- Trading things of unequal value
The one you may not be familiar with is framing. Let’s say you wish your girlfriend would support you in you exercise routines by participating. From her point of view, she doesn’t like to exercise or to be outdoors. You tell her that running together will help us reach our mutual goals of us spending more quality time together (and you losing some weight).
Let’s say this isn’t enough for her to justify the energy expenditure. You can use framing. Explain to her that her commitment to run with you on a regular basis will show that she is able to keep committments. In return, he will be more likely to commit to her.
If this still isn’t enough, we can use trading things of unequal value. She supports you in your exercise routines, and you support her with some fancy jewelry that she has been wanting.
From this point of view, how could she NOT agree that running together is a mutually beneficial thing?
He has many other methods for when these techniques are not enough, in my opinion they are borderline bribery, taking advantage or plain abuse of skills. He talks extensively to defend those techniques on how they were used, and why they are mutually beneficial. He obviously is naturally very persuasive, and be prepared to have these themes repeated many timesover. Each and every one of us has trouble listening, so repetition is key to learning the topics in the book.
I have unfortunately not used the skills in this book effectively. He will remind you over and over that the keys to Getting More is to practice Getting More. So I endeavour to practice these skills, and serve myself better by Getting More myself.